I Made It!

 Hey everyone!

I just want to touch on the last four months.  I have really been struggling with my health and at times it felt like it was about to do me in.  But I made it.  I am thankful for my natural state of stubbornness because that is what got me through ... pure will power to not give up.

My Lupus pain levels have been under control for the last 9 years.  

In March I began a Lupus flare that is just now ending.  I have experienced the worst pain I have had to endure for 10 years.  On a pain level of 0 thru 10 (10 being the worst) ... my pain levels these last four months have been 15 to 20.  Because of chronic Lupus and Fibromyalgia, I have a very high pain tolerance, but those levels have put me in the hospital before.  It was sheer stubbornness that got me through the last four months.  I am happy to say that my pain level today has been 2 to 3!!!  I have been absolutely miserable.  I am SO happy to be feeling better.

Today I was able to hold my arms up long enough to color my hair.  I didn't change the color ... just refreshed it.  I was able to play Irish Music at the local Pub tonight.  I was only able to hold my fiddle up and play it for about an hour total.  The rest of the time I played my Irish Whistle/Penny Whistle.  I have so much fun playing it!!!  I am thankful for music and the joy and healing it brings.  Music can be lifted like a prayer.  Every time I play, I am playing with a grateful heart and with joy.  There was a point and time when music saved my life.  Now I play for others.  You never know where people are in their life in any exact moment or what they are going through because a lot of people hide it well and when they are suffering ... they suffer in silence.   

Today was a good day.  Today was a joyous day.  I am celebrating life.

I signed up for an art class.  

I signed up for a piano course to learn something new for me.

I am back to playing classical piano ... which I love.

I am accepting additional music students for piano, guitar, violin, mandolin, tenor banjo and D/Irish Whistle.

Today I did two loads of laundry.

Today I was able to hug my husband without sending my pain through the roof.

You don't realize how much energy it takes to do the daily things ... until you have no energy ... until you're in so much pain that it hurts just to be awake.

The next time someone calls me stubborn ... I am just going to smile the biggest smile.  Why?  Because I know that it is my stubbornness ... my inability to give up ... that got me through these last four months.  

If you are struggling right now ... you're not alone.  You can do this ... whatever you are struggling with ... never give up.  Cry if you have to ... drag yourself along if you have to ... but never give up.  Hang on with all you've got.  You matter. 

Love and Blessings,

Ava